Four days and counting

Posted on Wednesday 19 April 2006

I’ve had a brief streak of productivity these past few days and since I made a few decisions that helped to reduce my stress load, it’s been alright. I have yet to recover my introspective qualities but in a way this continued decrease in self-reflection has also stopped me from thinking about how much I miss my thoughts. That last sentence makes absolutely no sense at all, but that’s sort of my point. There’s a certain amount of senselessness going on. The break between my mood and my thoughts and actions continues to this day and I’ve reached a certain point where I’ve just given up trying to make sense of things and just rolling with the punches as much as I can. I would say that I’ve lost motivation, but that would hardly be true because I never had much motivation to begin with. Instead, I think it’s more accurate to say that I’ve lost a reason for being. Whereas a couple of months ago, it was about struggling to keep my head above the water and waiting for that break in the clouds, now, I don’t know what the point to my day is.

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